For Parents - Suicide Prevention

As a parent, you can approach suicide prevention in the same way you do other safety or health issues for your children. By educating yourself, you can learn what puts kids at greatest risk for suicide – and what protects them most strongly.
- Boys take their lives at 3-4 times the rate of girls. The suicide rate for teen boys saw a rise that peaked in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, then lowered in the late ‘90s and early 2000’s. This may be attributed to pediatricians increasingly taking on the role of treating depression. However, the rate has unfortunately been rising again since 2006. The suicide rate for teen girls had a similar but less dramatic pattern. There has been an increase for girls over the last 10-12 years.
- As a parent, you can teach and model healthy habits for mental health just as you would with physical health. Taking care of your own mental health, talking about it openly, and seeking therapy when warranted is one way to model healthy practices. If your child sees you approaching your own challenges and learning for your own mistakes in an open way, they will understand that it’s okay to struggle and to learn from mistakes. They may develop flexibility and compassion for their own missteps — possibly even empathy for others, seeing how you navigate challenging times. They will also understand that life is messy and challenging for everyone at different times.
- You know your child. You know their usual patterns, their common reactions to frustration and challenges, and what their good days and bad days look like. Trust your instincts if their behavior goes beyond these usual patterns of behavior. It could be just the tip of the iceberg of possible changes in their physical or mental health. It’s worth engaging them in conversation to get a fuller understanding of what they are experiencing so you can provide support, and get a better sense of how severe it is.If your teen or tween’s sleep, energy, appetite, motivation, substance use, and frustration aren’t bouncing back to normal after a few days, have them see their pediatrician or a mental health practitioner.
- Don’t be afraid to have a conversation with your child about mental health and suicide. Ask your child how they’re doing, what’s happening in their world these days, and what their concerns are. It can start simply by asking, “Are you okay?” Listen intently and without judgment. Ask open-ended questions, i.e. those that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Resist the urge to offer quick fixes or solutions to their challenges, which tends to shut down further dialog. Validate and support their feelings
- The approach is very similar for tweens and teens, but with changes in language based on their level of sophistication and self-awareness. Use language that makes sense to your child, given their age, development, and what you know of how they think about things.
- If your child isn’t ready to talk, leave the invitation open for later by saying, “Whenever you want to talk, I’m here to listen and support you.” You could add “I won’t judge, and I’ll never stop supporting you, no matter what challenges you face.” The likelihood is that your child will open up when you least expect it, sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face, in the car or engaged in some other activity together.
- If your child is talking about any level of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly about suicide will not increase their risk, or plant the idea. It will create an opportunity to offer support, and let them know you care enough to have the conversation. You can say, “It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately. Does it ever get so tough that you think about ending your life?
  - Information provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention